This week I started reading a book called THE ART OF ASKING by Amanda Palmer. It’s an interesting book – part memoir, part self-help.
The premise is that we don’t ask people, particularly our friends or family, for the things that we need. Our society values self-reliance, and often views asking for help in the same vein as begging. In other words, asking has a shameful connotation.
This is ironic considering that one of the first things you learn in any type of sales job whether it’s taking orders at McDonald’s, or selling insurance, or selling any type of product or commodity, is that you don’t get if you don’t ask. Maybe it’s this connection to sales that make us view asking in the more negative light.
Anyway, I’m horrible asker. I’m definitely control freak. I live and die by my calendar. Collaborative work makes me a little bit crazy because not everybody has the same type of work ethic I do. If the world would just bend to my way of thinking, everything would be so much easier, but it doesn’t.
That leaves me with few options. I either work myself into the ground trying to do it all, or I let things slip through the cracks, or I learned to ask for help.
I’ve gone the first route before, I’ve been living the second one for a while now, and now I’m working on the third. That’s why have challenged myself to ask for something every day. It could be small or large, but it has to be something that I wouldn’t have asked anyone else to do for me last week.
For example, I did a couple of twitter threads, designed to spark interaction with other authors or with potential readers. A few of my good friends hit the little heart icon on twitter to like my tweets to let me know that they’ve read them, and were feeling what I said. That’s awesome. But the point of me doing these types of discussions is to cast a wider net. So, I asked my friends if they would consider re-tweeting the first tweet in the thread, rather than simply liking it. This shares it with their followers on twitter, which adds another ripple to the stone I tossed out into the conversational pond. They were kind enough to re-tweet my threads, and agreed to do so whenever they saw me engaged in a similar activity on Twitter.
The next day, I asked a different friend who is proficient in Microsoft Excel, if she would help me finish a project I had started in a spreadsheet. Pretty simple project, but a tedious one, which involved gathering information from a number of websites on each of my books. Nothing time sensitive, just something I like to have as a convenience. She said she was happy to help, and I sent the file along.
Yesterday, I was in my local Barnes & Noble, eyeing the spot on the shelf where LOVE GAME would sit come February 2018. (!!!!!) As I was wandering, a woman stopped to ask if I needed help. It turned out she was the store manager. I confessed that I was stalking the shelf space where my book will go, and then proceeded to ASK her if the store did any promotions for local authors. We talked for a bit she took my card, and I know to get in touch with their outreach manager to arrange possibly appearing at a group signing.
Not bad, so far.
Asking is not easy for many of us. Sometimes we have to get to a point where something is important enough to us that were willing to sacrifice our pride/ego. I guess I am edging up to one of those points. I have two new series launching in the next six months. I want them both to be successful.
I can’t do it all alone.
I need your help.
As an asker in training, I’ll probably be practicing on you here on my blog and in my FB reader group, The Margaritas, just I am practicing my dictation by speaking this post rather than typing it.
I hope you’ll help me out. As always, I’m happy to reciprocate in any way I can.
This is today’s ask: A WILL AND A WAY is on sale for $0.99! Will you help me get the word out?
Please tell your steamy-romance-lovng friends? You can use any means you’re comfortable with using – social media, word of mouth, text stalking, or simply buying one for a friend. Right-click and steal this graphic, if you want. Here’s the link to my publisher website. It will direct them to the retailer of their choice: http://www.kensingtonbooks.com/book.aspx/33189
How was that for an ice-breaker?
I thank you in advance. I appreciate all you do.
I’m really proud of you for all the asking you’ve been doing lately. I know it’s not easy, but I think you’ll soon see how eager/willing people are to make your life a little easier. I want you to succeed maybe as much or even more than you do. And now, with my stolen pretty graphic, I’m off to post on Twitter! 😀